The End Of Chris
by Some Call Me Tickler
Summary: Competition for UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND. I don't own.


**A/N: Competition for UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND.**

**Word of warning: I haven't actually seen The Lightning Thief movie, but I just finished reading the books, so I thought I might do this. Post TLO.**

**The O.C is Steve by the way.**

**EDIT: I had to change a few bits because I was short a few words (I was supposed to have 1,500) so I've fixed that now. Thank gods for Word Count. **

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but Steve. STEVE I TELL YOU, STEVE!**

"Well, what are we going to do about him?" Grover asked, jerking his thumb towards Chris Colombus.

"Uh... Annabeth? You're more the one for plans," Percy said anxiously, and you could see he had no idea what they could do.

"Easy, lure him somewhere away from mortals," Annabeth said. "Even _with_ the mist, they're bound to know something is up." She gestured towards the bustling crowds outside the Empire State building, some of the people following Chris, thinking he was some kind idol. Imbeciles.

"And how would we do that?" Grover asked.

"Need any help?" a voice sounded behind the trio, making them jump.

"Nico! Don't do that!" Grover protested.

"Di immortales," Annabeth murmured. "Honestly Nico, stop doing that. It's kinda creepy."

Nico just grinned, raising his hands in surrender.

"Do you want my help or not?" He asked.

"With what?" Percy asked, suspicion leaking into his voice.

"Killing Chris Colombus. My dad isn't Hades for nothing."

"True," Percy nodded in agreement.

"Besides, if he directs the next couple of movies, I just _know_ he'd screw my character up," Nico continued.

"Right, so you've come to help us," Annabeth said.

"Yeah."

"So help us!" She almost shouted, making a few people turn and stare.

"Oh, right. I was getting to that," Nico said, making an effort to be quieter, so as to not raise suspicion. "We may need a distraction though. And maybe Tyson."

"Why Tyson?" Percy asked. He would never admit it, but he was a bit protective over his half-brother.

"You'll see," Nico said mischievously.

"So we're not going to turn him green?" Grover asked, seemingly for confirmation.

"When did we ever say we were going to turn him green?" Annabeth asked, looking a bit confused – something that was almost unheard of for a daughter of Athena.

"Percy was thinking it."

"Hey!" Percy protested.

"Satyrs can read emotions, remember?" Grover reminded him.

"Right. Forgot about that," Percy muttered, annoyed.

"_Anyway_," Annabeth interrupted. "What's this big plan of yours, Nico?"

"Like you said before, lure him away. You guys were wondering how," Nico explained.

"Right. And that 'how' would be..." Percy said, willing him to continue.

"I brought Blackjack," Nico said, his confidence suggesting this would solve all their problems.

"Okay, and you said we needed Tyson?" Percy asked, turning a statement into a question.

"He's coming on a Hippocampus. I believe he called it 'Rainbow'," Nico told them, a little miffed by the whole 'Rainbow' thing.

Percy and Annabeth nodded knowingly. Tyson would never stop talking about Rainbow now.

"Hold on, I think I know what your plan is," Annabeth said, a look of calculation on her face. "Grover, make a distraction. Percy, Nico and I will get Chris away on Blackjack."

"Right. But you're missing Tyson," Nico told her.

"Then why is Tyson coming?" Percy asked.

Nico shrugged."The rules said five original characters."

"Okay, but does he come into the plan at all?" Annabeth asked.

"Sure, he'll meet up with us at a rendezvous," Nico explained.

"Okay, so put the plan into action then?" Percy asked, plunging his hand into his pocket and pulling out an innocent-looking ballpoint pen.

"Go," Nico said, trying not to raise suspicion.

Grover ran out yelling "Look, it's Robert Pattinson! And oh my gods he's sparkling!" He knew this would get any fangirl running, possibly a midly curious person as well.

Percy, Annabeth and Nico ran towards Chris Colombus, knocking him out with a single blow to the head.

"Much easier than Titans," Percy murmured, beaming.

"Ugh, he's so _stupid_," Annabeth moaned.

"Well what did you expect? He can't stick to an awesome storyline, of course he's stupid," Percy told her.

"Well, there is that," She reasoned.

"Uh, guys? Pegasi incoming," Nico warned them. Not a moment too soon, Blackjack and two other Pegasi swooped in.

_Yo, boss_ Blackjack's voice sounded in Percy's head.

"To the rendezvous," Nico told them, even though he couldn't actually hear Blackjack.

"I'll take Chris," Percy said. "C'mon Blackjack."

_Uh boss, he's mortal._

"He won't be alive much longer," Percy told him. Blackjack nodded his head and Percy heaved Chris onto him.

Annabeth and Nico mounted their Pegasi without another word and they took off towards the rendezvous.

* * *

"Percy!" Tyson called, waving up at the three Pegasi banking by a river. Rainbow the Hippocampus was in the river beside him.

"Hey, Big Guy," Percy said, beaming at his half-brother.

"Look! It's Rainbow! He came to me!"

"The rainbow in your head takes you where?" Chris slurred, waking from his unconsciousness.

"Oh. Who's that?" Tyson asked, pointing a finger (_A _finger, not _the _finger) towards the disheveled director.

"Uh, guy we're going to kill," Percy explained.

"Can I hit him with my stick?" Tyson asked, tossing said stick in the air and catching it again.

"Uh-"

"Ugh, am I in Sparta-" Chris took in the faces of the four people around him. "I mean, Olympus. Yeah, that's what I meant to say..."

"Sparta?" Annabeth scoffed. "Honestly, this guy is just lowering the average IQ for the world."

"Hey!" Chris protested, trying to push Annabeth over – a move she quickly sidestepped.

"I only speak the truth," Annabeth told him seriously, kicking him in the shin.

"Oh, and you," Chris pointed to Tyson. "You didn't answer my question. Where does the rainbow in your mind take you?"

"To Tartarus!" Nico shouted, plunging his sword into Chris' back.

"What. The. Hell," Chris yelled, collapsing onto the ground. Blood bubbled out of his mouth, though no-one could deduce why.

"He's dead now," Nico said proudly. Annabeth gave him one of those 'No-shit-sherlock' looks, but she was grinning.

"Aw. Man," Percy said. "I wanted to slice him up with Riptide"

"Riptide wouldn't have done anything. Celestial Bronze," Annabeth explained. There was a pause as everyone took in the director's dead body with glee.

"Can I hit him with my stick now?" Tyson asked.

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Steve said, staring at Chris Colombus in horror. "You want bacon wrapped in seaweed? Honestly, dead people these days." he shook his head in dismay.

"No, I-" Chris protested, only to be cut off by Steve.

"Listen, you don't want to try seaweed wrapped bacon. Trust me," Steve told him.

"Wait, you've _tried _it?"

"The work parties here get pretty crazy," Steve explained.

"Work parties. You _work _here?" Chris said, his voice filled with shock. He glanced around the room. After those weird kids had killed him, he'd ended up in Tartarus (Man, he'd got the set for that so _wrong_) He was now in this room, not unlike a dark cave. All it had was a plain black desk and about two candles.

"Of course. Lord Hades can't do everything can he?" Steve told him.

"Anyway, I am the director of Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief. I want Esylum!" Chris began shouting.

"Dude, now I have to call Hades. He's _not _going to like this," Steve told him, picking up a telephone.

"Hey, Hades! Yeah, I got Chris Colombus here," Steve said.

"That fiend! Bring him to me, I must find a punishment suitable," Hades said, hanging up the telephone.

"I'm going to enjoy this," he murmured.

* * *

"Here's your guy," Steve threw Chris towards Hades. Chris whimpered at the sight of Hades, almost peeing his pants.

"Good. Thank you Steve," Hades told him. Steve bowed and left the room, hoping Chris Colombus got what he deserved.

_If he was going to change the book that much, why didn't he put me in it?_ He thought.

"Chris, Chris, Chris," Hades shook his head disapprovingly. "Do you know why you died? Why you are here?"

"Uh..."

"Because you suck at directing, that's why!" Hades shouted. Chris hung his head.

"I tried," He murmured, in a please-don't-kill-me kind of way.

"Tried? Failed, more like," Hades yelled, glaring at him.

"I-"

Hades sighed and shook his head at him.

"Take him to Cerberus!" He yelled, his voice booming through Tartarus.

Chris knew enough to see how bad this was.

"No, no, NO!" He started screeching like a banshee, wailing like a girl.

"Pansy," Hades snickered.

"Hey doggie, nice doggie," Chris said nervously. Cerberus growled at him, almost glaring.

_Lunch_ he thought, bearing his large teeth.

Onlookers gasped and shielded each other's eyes as Cerberus devoured Chris. One boy pointed and laughed. He gained Esylum for good taste in directors.

* * *

"Brilliant!" Nico shouted, and the people around him stared at him in bewilderment. He was back at Camp Half-Blood, sitting alone at the new Hades table in the pavilion.

"Chris Colombus just got eaten by Cerberus," He shouted. Cheers erupted all around. One person from the Ares cabin punched their fist into the air in triumph.

"Well, hopefully we'll get a better director next time," Annabeth said, grinning ear to ear.

"I wouldn't speak so fast," Grover warned.

"Why?" Percy's tone was suspicious.

"Because the next director is Catherine Hardwicke." He said, hanging his head.

Nico sighed. "I'll go find some legions of the undead," he muttered, as if this were to become a hardship.

* * *

**A/N: Just pointing out, the Catherine Hardwicke thing isn't true, incase you didn't realize and yeah. Hope you liked it! This has to be the single longest chapter I've ever posted as one.**

**Review?**


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